Sometimes we hate what we used to love. We think that which we love is unworthy of our love because it has let us down greatly in some way or the other. We feel like withdrawing all our love and giving it somewhere else that is more worthy to receive. It might be true that we are in love with the wrong person, but it could also be true that we ourselves are not yet right to love that person. The negative situation we experience is meant to help us discover ourselves and what loving unconditionally really means.
Hate is an emotion that is meant to be used as an aggressive defense against any form of evil. It is a destructive force against anything that is destructive towards us. When we feel hate or anger, it just means that someone is doing something that hurts us. It is a form of self love that seeks to protect us and cut off anything that is not beneficial for us. There is nothing wrong with the way we feel because our emotions serve as a feedback and motivating force to move towards that which is good in life.
It is when we understand what our emotions are telling us and the reason why we feel that way that enables us to truly resolve everything in our inner world. The reason why we feel hate and anger is because the person is doing something that hurts us. Our love for ourselves repels against such an act. We feel unacknowledged, unappreciated or somehow mistreated in one way or another by the other person. Therefore we seek to redress the wrong or undeserved suffering caused by that person.
We may think that the person is no longer right for us to love or relate with, and we are right coming from the level of consciousness where we are at. But when we discover something beyond that, we may turn our entire perspective around and feel totally different. We see, the reason why we feel unacknowledged is because we need acknowledgment from that person. The reason why we feel unappreciated is because we need appreciation from that person. We need something that is lacking.
We feel mistreated because we require that person to treat us in a certain way. It is when that person is not being or doing what we expect, that we feel disappointed in reciprocating. We reason as to why we should continue to being good when we are being treated so unfairly in return. What we may not realize is how conditional our love for that person really is. We have so many conditions and requirements on what that person should be or do in order for we to love him or her.
Sometimes, the only way to resolve a friendship or relationship problem is to bring it to an end. When we are in a friendship or relationship, we tend to have an expectation of mutual appreciation, acknowledgment and love expressions. That is the way a normal friendship is supposed to be right? Yes, that is how it is supposed to be. But a true friendship does not have any suppositions or expectations of what the friendship should be like. True friendship can exist even when the parties are not normal friends.
What happens when the relationship or friendship with the person has ended in the normal sense? There is no longer an expectation or need for that person to give us acknowledgment, appreciation or anything for that matter. The same goes for us as well. We no longer need to give that person anything at all. But now we are in a space where if we feel love, appreciation and kindness for that person, we can still give it if we wish out of a heart that is totally free and unconditional.
That is the irony of a true friendship that exists without a friendship in the normal sense of the word. We cannot feel unappreciated . Because now that person cannot take anything from us or give us what we already have.
When we feel true love for another, the love we have is not our own, but it is God expressing through us. We may feel anger, hurt and resentment because of our expectation of that person. But when all those expectations and requirements are gone, what is left is the pure unconditional love that is always present beneath it all. Everything else is just meant for us to discover where we are being conditional and limited in our heart. But when we let go, we can love totally.
We do not need to end the friendship or relationship in the literal sense, but we just need to imagine what it is like being a true friend or being loving when the friendship or relationship is not required. True love is free without needing anything in return. To truly love is to love unconditionally, without judgment of that which we love. There is no fear in perfect love. Whoever that fears is not yet made perfect in love. When we love perfectly, we do not judge ourselves or others because we accept both completely.
We need to love ourselves for all that we are because we are worth it. From the place of complete self love and self acceptance, we are able to love another with an unconditional heart. Because we do not need anything back. Therefore we cannot be hurt at all. We can love without fear. Remember the saying, “Work like we do not need the money, dance like no one is watching and ”. It is the pure, fearless and unconditional giving of ourselves.